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  • Helms Jarrell

Kairos Moments

I've seen a different snake every day for three days. I'm not a fan of snakes. I don't know what seeing snakes regularly means. I do know that two days ago, when I was on a walk with Stephanie, we saw a black snake. She greeted it like an old friend.


Here's one miracle: two moms during a pandemic got to escape their families and household chores for a long walk.


While we were walking, we talked about all sorts of ambling things: Church, vocation, transition, racial equity, homeschooling, and adoption. I told her at one time I thought I'd have four kids. Then, we had kids a little later and two seemed right. Plus there are the kids who are a part of the youth group. They are sort of like my kids, in a way. And there are the teenagers for whom we were pseudo foster parents. (We did the things foster parents do without government intervention.)


I shared about how it is hard to pseudo foster parent because after the teens are all grown up and out in the world-there are eight of them, if I'm counting right, and the length of time they stayed with us varies from 7 years to 7 months- they don't really come back. As much as they were my kids at the time, they didn't stay mine. We keep up via social media, but they don't "come home to see Momma." I might like for that to happen, but I have to remember that I'm not actually Momma.


After the walk with Stephanie, Greg and the boys picked me up and we went on a long bike ride. When we got home, there was a note on the door. "Hey Ms. Helms. This is B. I just stopped by to say hello. When you get this, give me a call."


B stayed with us when she was 16 for 6 months. She was pregnant at the time.


We put the bikes away, threw together some dinner, and headed to the front porch. A car drove up. It was J and K. J lived with us from the time he was 16-19 years old. I often introduce him as "my oldest son." K lived the other communal house and in community with us for 4 or 5 years. We sat and talked for an hour. We laughed and caught up with one another, updating each other about collective family members. At some point in the conversation, I was in two places at once. I was there, enjoying the moment and also looking at the moment from the outside with such gratitude and love.


Being with those two men who were once my "boys" was such a joy. And that they came to check in on me was such a gift.


After J & K left, I pieked up the phone. B and I talked for a while. She caught me up on how she was doing and told me about her three kids. When I got off the phone, I texted Stephanie. Grateful for the walk and the kairos moment.



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