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  • Helms Jarrell

Cyclical wonderings



I return to one or more of these thoughts at least 1x every 20 minutes. Not exaggerating. These are written in no particular order.


Why am I in a funk?


I've identified the reasons that things feel weird. Now, why can't I figure out some sort of coping mechanism to get rid of the weird feeling?


In present moment, things are pretty good. Why, then, do things not feel great?


One of my children coughed. I hope they are not sick.


One of my children slept all the way until 10:30am. I hope he is not sick. I hope he is not depressed.


I want to be creative. I don't have it in me. There's not enough physical, mental, or emotional space for me to be creative.


What happens if I don't produce content and others do. Will I be lost to the world?


Why did I send an invitation to folks to journal alongside me and many of them didn't respond? Why can't I get out of feeling like their lack of response was rejection?


I would like to eat chocolate right now. Or cheese. Or drink alcohol.


Let's take a walk. Who wants to go on a walk with me?


Let's get our bikes and go riding.


Is there a trail we can go on?


I hope the folks that I am directing think I am doing a good job. I hope they like me. I hope I am making the right decisions.


Someone else needs to take over the directing right now.


I'm not making enough contact with neighbors.


I haven't been overtly Christian, faithful, good, or nice enough lately.


I need to write down that song on my list of songs to include at my funeral.


We haven't signed a will. We must do that. Is there an online will making thing?


Who have I forgotten to contact that needs a reach out?



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