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a moment of fear, fading

Updated: Apr 4, 2020

I'm not a highly anxious person. I don't show much fear. Ever.

I'm afraid this time. Fear has dug in a bit.

Here's what I'm afraid of....

loss, sickness, grief...all of these

But mostly, I'm afraid that things will go into crisis mode and folks will turn towards selfishness rather than sharing. I'm afraid that people will only look out for themselves more than each other. I'm afraid folks won't look out for me.

I'm afraid we won't have the supplies we need to take care of each other. As our neighborhood has been cut off from most all economic viability (until investor speculation lately, that is still not for neighbors' gain), I'm afraid that when the shortages come, the people I love will be the most impacted.

I shouldn't be afraid. I know better. My spirit knows better.

I've read the books. Octavia Butler has prepared me for this. I've memorized the scripture, the Psalms have prepared me for this. I know how to grow food, how to keep things clean, how to administer medications. I know how to meditate, exercise, organize, and communicate.

I shouldn't be afraid. And yet, I still am. And that's ok.

Breathe through. All will be well.

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